I have tried to encourage a few young couples to get married who were holding out due to money concerns. Their love was genuine, their relationship was solid, yet their finances had them on edge. Here are ten things that a young couple can do to help prepare for marriage. Some of these are geared towards young in age, and some will be applicable to all couples preparing for marriage.

1. Have Each Person Do An Honest Evaluation of Their Finances – when a couple comes together they need to recognize that they both bring a financial life into their new married life. Marriage is about being one and you’re not going to find that oneness easy in various areas just due to personality differences and personal preference. That being said you need to both evaluate your finances because you need to know what you are bringing to the marriage. Your own knowledge of the scenario is going to be critical because you have to own your victories and failures. Know all of your debts and all of your assets. What student loans do you have? How much did you bring home last year after taxes?

2) Talk About Those Financial Evaluations – After you’ve figured out where each of you stand financially you need to come together and lay down all of your (credit) cards. You need to know where you both stand because those two financial lives will collectively come together into one new financial life that is going to be the sum of the two, or in some cases the debt hole of the two. If a penny pincher and a spender come together the surprises that could be seen after the marriage could be tough. Get this knowledge out in the open now.

3) Figure Out the Expenses That Your Household Will Have – If you both don’t have bills and a monthly expense budget then you will need to discover what your expenses will be as close as possible. Talk to others in your area about electricity costs. Find out how much an apartment or rental property will cost (unless you miraculously have money for a house) and figure out how much utlities will be on average. Be prepared to pay more than your estimates. Those estimates could be higher than you end up paying, but then could also be lower and you don’t want to be unprepared. If living together means a longer drive for one of you then you need to also estimate things like gasoline costs.

4) Figure Out How You will Budget – Read a book such as The Total Money Makeover or another good personal finance book together. Get on the same page about financial planning. Make a budget together that takes into account all of your expenses and expectations. The budget at the back of The Total Money Makeover is pretty thorough and you should find yourself pretty well prepared for your monthly expenses due to that.

5) Figure Out How You Will Jointly Work Out the Actual Execution of Your Budget – Take on responsibility of the budget: together. Don’t let it be one person’s job. Keep each other abreast of the situation as you spend money on various things. Don’t let a surprise happen because of lack of communication or commitment. One person may be in charge of paying the bills, but they don’t let the other person be unaware of those bills and that the checks have been sent!

6) Plan Out Your Savings Goals to Get a House – If you don’t have a house to move into together (which some people do) you will want to make that a savings goal in many cases. If the two of you decide to not get a house – ever – then you can skip this. But I would recommend keeping this on the radar.
7) Plan Out Your Retirement Goals and Needs – How much will you need to retire? How much will you need to invest yearly to meet those retirement goals? You need to have a plan and you should never expect to be lucky and just fall into money. Accidental money is rarely going to fix your financial woes, planning will give you confidence and will allow you to watch your wealth grow.

8 ) Develop an Insurance Plan to Handle Emergencies – You will more than likely want to get life and disability insurance policies on both of you. If you talk to a good insurance agent they will be able to save you a lot of money on insurance policies. Don’t hesitate to shop around and find the best rates. There is nothing wrong with getting the best deal on your insurance as long as the company is reputable and the agents are honest.

9) Plan For Dates – Make dates out together (or even in together to save money) a priority. Don’t let yourself get bogged down in daily busyness. Instead make time for one another, and make money for some special times so that you can maximize that time. You will need this time to take a break from your hectic schedules.

10) Make Your Marriage Your Number One Earthly Priority – Don’t let money, work, family or anything else come between the two of you. I know this isn’t directly about money, but you need to come into your marriage with that as a priority! Don’t let in-laws sway you based on emotion. Don’t let work take away the quality of your marriage. No amount of income will make your marriage solid. Time together and talking together will make your marriage solid. Make your marriage your number one earthly priority.

After you’ve looked at these think about other areas that you can tackle together. Think ahead. Plan ahead. Live as one.

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