This is a guest post by Brooke at a DollarFrugal.com, a 20-something PF blogger who paid off debt quickly and is trying to pay off her mortgage by November 2009 while sending her husband back to college. And doing it one dollar at a time. I strongly recommend you subscribe to her RSS feed and learn some things from her great blog.
Open Lines of Communication Open lines of communication that are needed with a budget shared between two people also transfer to other parts of your marriage. Should we raise our child(ren) in a certain way? I don’t know, let’s discuss it. It’s the same premise as where to spend budgeted monies.
Set a Check and Balance Limit We are all adults, but sometimes our “wants” get the best of us. Set a limit ($100 or $20, depending upon how tight the budget is) that is the “discussion limit”. This will use your spouse check how badly you want an item and reaffirm your joint endeavor to kill debt or raise net worth.
Set Financial Goals Together Setting goals together will cement your relationship and show the other just how much you care about them. You could try brainstorming separately (no peeking!) on what financial goals should be, then come together to discuss each idea.
Build an Emergency Fund For your sanity and your spouse’s. An emergency fund is the easiest way to feel secure and not rely on the evil credit cards. Seriously, just do it.
Even Thinking About the “D” Word Is Bad for Finances Divorce is sad for people and our finances. If you go into the commitment with the idea that marriage is forever, you won’t even consider divorce (of course, there are extenuating circumstances, but you get my point). With divorces come two households and the support of these separate households.
Use Joint Assets to Build “The House’s” Assets The stay-at-home mom is a classic example of this. She can attend one online class per semester, coming out after 5 years with 15 classes (equivalent to more than 3 semesters of college), just using naptime. What about retirement funds? My husband made a lot less than I do, but I funded his IRA because I know it will benefit both of us.
Attack Finances as A Team This supports your “one team, one fight” mentality and solidifies your stance against the rest of the world (or at least corporate America!). Have at least a binder somewhere for the non-bill-payer of the family to reference in case anything should ever happen to the bill-payer. Go over the binder together once a year to ensure it is understandable and current. Agree how much to pay each month and make a budget together.
Find Cheap Hobbies Mountain biking is our favorite pastime these days. Spending time out in the fresh air can’t be beat, in my mind. With cheap hobbies, you are spending quality time together, but not spending a ton of money. We constantly play cards. Another place we spend a MULTITUDE of time is the library. Both of us are college students and our son is learning to read, so we kill a bunch of birds with one stone here. Cheap hobbies are cheap (duh, Brooke) and doing them together means you’re spending time doing something you enjoy together. It doesn’t get any better than that!
Buy a Present for the House Instead of Each Other This may be arguable for some relationships, but it’s worked out great for us. Instead of buying each other trinkets, we buy a quality piece of furniture or sports equipment that we pre-discuss and find at the lowest price. It makes me a lot happier than blingy jewelry or flowers that die! Or try funding just $100 of a Roth IRA for each other instead of presents. It will pay off in a large way later.
Shared Sense of Accomplishment The sense of accomplishment that came when we paid off our debt (Oct 2002) after a year of scrimping and clawing was an adrenaline rush. This is a shared experience much stronger than any night out on the town with friends or flashy car. It is part of our shared identity that no one can take away from us!
Personal finances strengthen marriage in a huge way. Money is often cited as the most common reason for divorce, but I would argue lack of money education is the most common reason for divorce. Educate yourselves together and you’ll gain more than just knowledge!
